Time Passes

The title says it all.  I realized I have thought about my blog often, and yet when I looked at it the other day realized it had been since May that I last wrote.

May! 

Initially the delays were due to a trip for Mother's Day weekend up north to visit family.  Then as time clicked by it seemed like I had little to say and then too much time elapsed.

Recently I realized the reason I was writing the blog got lost somewhere and I cared more about what someone thought I was writing about, "Was it interesting?", "Entertaining?", "Important enough?".

It no longer became cathartic.  So I decided to come back and write what I want to.  What is going through my head at the time.  Hoping it will help quiet the voices a little.

For the last several months Steve, my husband, has been looking for work.  Why is there so much sigma associated with that.  He was laid off, nothing to do with his performance, but the same situation that so many people are facing today, corporate changes, etc...blah, blah, blah.  It reminds me of one of my favorite movies. "You've Got Mail"  Where Tom Hanks character is talking about how it "It isn't personal it's business",  and Meg Ryan says, "It's personal to me."  It is sad because I see both sides.  You can't take away someones job and assume it isn't personal for someone but understanding that if they don't make changes, downsizing, whatever, it could affect more than a few people. 

I have struggled with feeling a bit guilty.  I have a job, I have a great job.  Just got a promotion, a raise, and yet to bring attention to that makes me feel like I could be making Steve feel worse.  He knows, I know, it isn't his fault for him not getting that 2nd interview, or not finding that perfect job.  Knowing that and feeling that are so different.

Steve has decided to stop putting fate into someone elses hands and has decided to take his "side" business and make it full time.  I am proud of him for going outside his comfort zone. 

A little less light hearted with this one, but next time I will get back to food and fun.  

This week I made a pinterest recipe which I will share and also trying homemade tortillas on Thursday.  Will have to see how those turn out.

Monkey Mind

What is Monkey Mind?  Steve explained to our friends and I one night a few months back that we were all living in this state of mind.  To sum it up, it is a Buddhist term meaning "unsettled; restless; capricious; whimsical; fanciful; inconstant; confused; indecisive; uncontrollable".   I researched this term and there are blogs and books and sorts of stuff about "Taming the Monkey Mind". 

Every time the four of us get together, which is pretty often we tend to go in several directions from the perfect place to live, house ideas, future vacations, the past and overall discussions about anything other than what is happening right now.

The idea of a Monkey Mind is to not have one.  If you are thinking about the past not just in a fond memory but in a regretful way of how things were, rosy and sunshine or you are thinking of the future in a wistful way, all rosy and sunshine, you aren't living for today.

We decided we would try to live in the moment.  Appreciate today and all it has to offer.  Needless to say, that lasted all of a few hours.  We now joke that we are having a Monkey Mind moment and it is our new term for our discussions.

I don't think I look back and have regrets, but I am definitely in a constantt state of tomorrow.  Aren't we all.

I do regret this hair though from my childhood.  Seriously, in 7th grade today, girls look much more put together. I think I cut my own bangs and burnt my forehead curling them.  Crazy look.

For the rest of today, I am going to think about today.  It is baby steps.   Off to cook dinner and think about just dinner, then just the evening walk, and then just the book I will read, and just my shower.  See I am already in the future.  There is something to be said for slowing down and smelling the roses. 

I love the rain and today the weather was perfect.  Don't get me wrong, I like the sun more, but a good rainy day like today was lovely.  Tomorrow is going to be sunny and after a steady rain makes everything look clearer, cleaner and smell lovely.

Nothing better on a rainy day that cooking comfort food.  I have to being by saying that the meal was already planned prior to the rain, but I think it came out better because of it.  I am going to digress a bit and lay the groundwork.  Every week, I do a menu which is pretty consistent from a general category stand point;

Sunday is usually the "big" family meal where I will go the extra mile and put more work into the meal; Monday: Sandwich night, or soup and sandwiches and in the summer salad and sandwich;

Tuesday: Mexican, "taco Tuesday" is how that came about;

Wednesday: Italian, not sure why, but it is usually some kind of pasta;

Thursday: American and lately another "Monday" night meal; and this is followed up by

Friday is Fend!! all the leftovers, normally my son has plans, or my husband and I meet out friends for a date night.  Saturday is normally this as well.

So with that said, this past week I moved the Sunday meal to Saturday night since we were having friends over for a football day and today was Sandwich night.  In preparation for that, and here is where I left off before, I decided to make Grilled Chicken and Avocado on a Ciabatta roll.  I found this great recipe and everyone was raving about. 

I normally made my bread from an Artisan style recipe that is a large batch of dough made up in advance and then I can pull from it and bake throughout the week.  Great stand by for anything from pizza to a crusty loaf. 

This time I was going for a very specific style of bread and found it at food.com.  (my new go to for consistently good recipes and variety.)

http://www.food.com/recipe/ciabatta-italian-slipper-bread-29100

This starts with a "sponge" which is sort of like a sourdough starter but only has to be made 12 hours to 1 day in advance.  I made it last night, and it turned into a very bubbly looking yeasty soft dough.   Today I made the full dough which was very easy and it baked up beautifully.  The recipe makes 2 loaves, one I did just like the recipe calls for and the other I brushed lightly with olive oil and covered in Asiago cheese.

         

I also made as a last minute add in, the Cheesy Potato Rounds which are basically potato wedges but so much quicker and easier.  They came out so good.

All  in all a pretty good Monday, even if I did have to work all day, but the cooking and baking totally made up for it and I got to enjoy a rainy day. 

I am still trying to figure this blog thing out.  I am trying to determine how to post an netry but have it be displayed on the main page until the next entry and then move into a "page" I have created. 

I think this is going to take me longer than I thought.  I am not a computer genius but neither am I challenged but this has me stumped.

I will keep poking around and hopefully get this figured out. 

g

Today I finished putting away all the Christmas decorations.  Mainly the tree and a few straggler items.  I had started on Christmas day mainly out of boredom, did a bit more on the 26th and did the tree today.

I am always so excited every year to drag all of that out, meticulously put it all up in just the right spot and then sit back and admire all the splendor.  All of this starts the day after Thanksgiving with the tree following shortly after.  But come Christmas or a few days later, it is all just too much and loses some of the appeal.  I forget to turn the outside lights on, the candles don't get lit that day and I don't see it all the same way.

This year it happened much sooner than normal.  Could be because my family and I are going out of town to see the Grandparents for New Years and the idea of waiting until the 2nd week of January to put it all away was not an option. 

Today I carefully took all the ornaments off the tree, but didn't dwell on each one like I do when I put them on.  I didn't remember back to when they were first bought or given or made.  I didn't tear up looking at the ones my son has made over the years in school which is certainly what happens when they go up.

So for today, I finished that task and my husband, Steve, is so very happy that the house is finally back to normal.  Furniture back in its rightful place, needles swept up and all the Christmas boxes are tucked away until next year when it begins all over again.

May be a few days since we are going out of town tomorrow, so until next time...

The Beginning

I was spending an evening with friends a few months ago talking about everything and nothing and the conversation got around to blogging, or "journaling".  It started my mind on an internal journey of why I have always loved the idea of putting my thoughts to paper,  and will buy the journal, write a few entries and then stop.  I’ve decided to start this blog, mainly so I can gather my thoughts on an array of subjects and hopefully dispel my husband’s nickname for me, “80”.  I start things and then get 80% through or less, get bored and move on to the next one idea, thought, or project. 

I have named this Add a Finishing Touch because for me, that is what truly brings everything together.  Whether it be the icing on a cake, the sprinkles on a cookie, or the decorative ribbon on a package.  It is also what makes me excited to go on to the next thing and maybe will inspire me to "finish".  I am hoping my girl friend goes on this journey with me.  We often share recipes, project ideas, swap items and inspire each other.  I am looking for that to continue here.

I find that we are in so many ways attempting to gain back the things we tried to get away from as children.  We are both from a rural town in Northern California, I had horses, chickens and so forth growing up but yearned for a more “exciting” life.  As we got older we have found ourselves in Southern California and all that goes with it. 

A faster pace, absolutely, not sure if the “excitement” part ever really came to life in the ways we thought they would.   Now with our children mostly grown we are looking for ways to simplify and yet we don’t want to rush out and buy the pre-packaged food, pre-made clothes or fill our homes with the “in” furniture.

I am looking to this blog in hopes that I will finally be able to bake that “perfect” pie.  (Although I have to say, my husband hasn’t minded the many attempts.)  Finish that Christmas Quilt that I started so many years ago.  And learn a few things along the way, both physically and spiritually.

I am sure that the beginning of this will have longer entries than other days as I gather my thoughts and the direction I want to go in that day or week.  As I start though, I am hopeful that this will be the one thing I finish. 

However, in writing that I find myself wondering how I will know when I have.   Will this be 31 days to a [insert word here]?  Or a journey to finding what it is that I am truly passionate about.  As I have often thought, “maybe the reason I haven’t finished a particular task” is because I haven’t found one that holds my attention.    I have realized once I quit that the end is no longer important since I have lost interest part of the way through.

Originally I thought I would start this on 1/1/2012 as a New Year's Resolution, but even that was putting something off, so I am jumping in today and will see where it takes me.

See you tomorrow…